User:Heheman

Heheman is famous for being stupid. He was exiled to Alacratz Island for selling the weeds that grew in his backyard. Here is his story:

Heheman (age 78) was a normal middle school student(even though he had 50 less braincells than average). One day he saw his rat sniffing ratnip. Suddenly the rat turned to him and its eyes turned red!!! It said, "You stupid". The emotional damage it gave heheman hospitalized him for 17 days. Heheman came back home angry and he grabbed a metal wand off the ground. He shot spitballs out of it at the rat, who kept dodging them which made Heheman madder. Finally he seized the rat and stuffed him in the wand. He walked outside, aimed the wand at the sewer's cap, and shot the rat through into the sewer. Heheman was charged 17$ million for animal abuse and abusing sewer caps because it turned out there was a construction worker working inside at the time and it caused him brain damage when the rat fell on his head :( :( :(. Anyway the rat was never seen again for 7 years and it was believed he went crazy sniffing ratnip even in the sewer. But they were wrong!! He re-emerged from his sewer abode 7 years later and wanted to share with the world how good ratnip smelled. To do this he created a company where he overworked employees in a 996. Later he changed it to a 24/7, but soon after the employees got a genius idea! They went to court and filed 15 lawsuits each at Proffessor Rat. However the number of lawsuits that were filed broke the system and the government accidentally deposited all of that year's taxes into Professor Rat's bank account. The government went broke and anarchy erupted everywhere, but in the moments before that, an angry judge attacked Professor Rat with a huge hammer with a label "Justice". He was mad all of his paycheck, as well as his life savings and social security benefits, were deposited into the professors account, and now the professor would not give him it back!!! >:ccccc. Anyway because of that the professor had to go into hiding because there was now an angry old man who wanted to grab him and exile him to My Little Pony land. A long time later, the professor met Heheman again. He and heheman did not reconcile but made a business deal: heheman would sell the professor's ratnip and turn in the profits, and professor rat would pay him counterfeit bills in exchange (heheman didn't know they were counterfeit). This was actually the business that got heheman exiled and senteced to rot and die in jail with a dead spider corpse for company. One day, heheman was speeding as usual and saw a police car. The police car pulled him over(and got a few deep collision marks on its windshield). Heheman didn't know what to do to make this annoying policeman go away, so he gave him a sack of ratnip because it smelled good. The police looked at the ratnip, and mistaking it for decaying catnip got angry and said, "You stupid, never rob my house again." He brought him to the judge who charged him with possesion of ratnip and catnip because the nation was in a shortage of it and all the cats and rats were going feral. Anyway now heheman lives in Alacratz Island. Actually, we don't know if it would be more accurate to put the word "lives" or "lived".